Let's Talk About Sex

Let's Talk About Sex

As humans, we are innately social and sexual beings. However, even though sexuality plays a significant role in our lives – by allowing procreation, bonding and the experience of pleasure – sex and sexual issues are rarely discussed; they are kept taboo in therapy, and especially in social relationships. 

Some of us might have received a thorough sexual education during our upbringing or in school, but most of us have limited knowledge and might not remember much from sex ed. class in junior high. Honestly, what else do you remember from health class besides where babies come from? The reality is that a lot of information that circulates in our world is not always accurate, and it might actually perpetuate sexual dysfunctions that go unaddressed. 

So here are a few facts that hopefully will clarify some fictions that you’ve heard, and help you have a healthier sex life by being more comfortable talking about sex: 

Sex is Good for You: More Reasons Why

Sex is Good for You: More Reasons Why

Your love story begins. You meet your soul mate and you can’t even remember what life felt like before you met.  Everything revolves around your partner. You dream about each other, you talk to and about each other, and can’t take your hands off each other. There is no shortage of passion and sex feels spontaneous and exciting. There is never a dull moment, and life just feels complete. 

 Now years later, your soulmate is now your live-in partner. You live what Esther Perel in “Mating in Captivity” calls a “domestic bliss”; the relationship feels safe and comfortable. But what used to be exciting and passionate, now feels forced and robotic. And you begin to wonder if you have lost your sex drive. 

 The reality is that sex is not a drive as Emily Nagosky, Ph.D., explains in “Come as You Are.” No one has ever died from not having sex.

 

Steps to a Mindful Journey

Steps to a Mindful Journey

Have you ever found yourself reconnecting with a friend or loved one at the end of a day, and after 15 minutes of conversation you realized that you have not heard a word they said because you were lost in your thoughts planning for the next day or worrying about your upcoming week? How about that wasted week spent neglecting your responsibilities, getting irritated at your social support, worrying, ruminating, obsessing over the dream job you applied for and feeling inadequate, only to learn that you are not only qualified but the only candidate with a job offer?

Achieving Happiness Through Gratefulness

Achieving Happiness Through Gratefulness

Imagine you are on a dream tropical vacation that you have been planning for months to escape all your chores and daily stressors. It is winter, cold and snowy in your hometown, and you look forward to lounging on the beach in the warmth of the sun and playing in the turquoise seawater. Once you arrive to your resort town, it starts pouring rain, and the deep blue calm water turns into a sea of grey waves pounding the beach you were supposed to lay on. The weekly forecast is not going to change and you are stuck for a week in a setting that is far from what you have envisioned.

Work to Live or Live to Work?

Work to Live or Live to Work?

If you won the lottery would you stop working? This question might stimulate dreams of paying off lifelong credit card debts or student loans with just one click, instead of making monthly payments, taking a trip around the world instead of spending your day stuck in a cubicle. Waking to the sounds of the ocean’s waves instead of an alarm clock greeting you every morning. Breaking in your new sports car instead of sharing a crowded bus with fellow commuters.

Abnormal is the New Normal

Abnormal is the New Normal

“My therapeutic goal is to get rid of my anxiety.”

This type of client comment challenges therapists. Because how do you help meet these expectations when some symptoms, as comfortable as they might be, are simply part of being a human being?

In our society, we have a tendency to either “pathologize” our symptoms, which are frequently a normal manifestation of our environmental stressors, or to assign negative labels to people struggling with mental illness – lazy, weak or dangerous. This oftentimes leads us to having unrealistic goals when seeking help, or avoiding talking about our struggles due to feelings of shame associated with them.